Saturday, March 10, 2007


Continuing our exclusive coverage of the Mysterious Mister Slinger: I have gained access to a catalogue of Mr. Slinger's specialized ammo. Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list—we wouldn't want the malfeasants out there being able to counter all of Mr. Slinger's tricks.

Slinger Arsenal
Sourshot: releases an acrid cloud that causes paralyzing levels of pucker.
Shockshot: involves absolutely no patent infringement on TazerBallz®.
Slickshot: produces a biodegradable oil slick (cold-expeller pressed).
Stormshot: becomes a small nimbo-cumulus cloud, with rain and up to 4 lighting bolts.
Spyshot: contains full spectrum observations package.
Sonicshot: causes disorientation and incapacitation through ultrasonic waves (7 Hz).
Stickshot: transforms into a bundle of sticks, appropriate for use as melee weapons (combat mode) or kindling (survival mode).
Stapleshot: good for pinning malfeasants to walls and leaving them for the police.
Suckshot: creates a powerful vacuum, drawing everything in the vicinity towards it.
Snowshot: Caution: Extreme Cold. Do not lick.
Stingshot: full of nettles.
Spaceshot: capable of attaining a velocity of 11.2 km/s.
Stompshot: becomes a giant foot.
Spoilshot: the exact opposite of refrigeration.
Sureshot: homing shot.
Songshot: based on tried and true psychops techniques. Mp3 compatible. Comes with the complete Randy Newman oeuvre.
Sewshot: stitches malfeasants’ clothes together.
Snapshot: documents crime scene, flickr compatible.
Stringshot: lots and lots of silly-sting.
Sackshot: deploys giant sack for gathering up malfeasants.
Stakeshot: in case of vampires.
Sootheshot: emits calming tones, lavender scent.
Stinkshot: worse than you can possibly imagine. Tomato juice will not help.
Stagshot: grows antlers, charges malfeasants.
Stubshot: targets malfeasants’ toes.
Snobshot: erodes confidence with condescending remarks about your alma mater.
Swingshot: makes suggestive comments about malfeasants’ significant others.
Spinshot: causes extreme vertigo.
Sparshot: deploys comically large boxing gloves.
Sweatshot: slippery. Hard to grapple.
Swipeshot: makes off with malfeasants’ wallets.
Sugarshot: disrupts insulin levels.
Shineshot: produces blinding flash of light.
Sneakshot: really quiet.
Shipshot: inflates into USCG-approved sea craft.
Snipshot: deploys scissors (for cutting).
Slapshot: less risqué version of the now discontinued Spankshot.
Spellshot: interferes with the use of magic.
Steinshot: delivers a refreshing dose of frothy German beer.
Sawshot: goes through wood. Eventually.


april said...

what clever weaponry!

i actually met the oh-so-elusive mr. slinger in person, and boy was he scary. memphis ne'er-do-wells are up against quite a formidable hero, it seems. AND he's environmentally conscious!

also, forgive my girliness, but that is a really neat bowl.

Unknown said...

Really? Where did you meet him? Was he saving you from a mugger in a dark alleyway? Or did he rescue from a hijacked Greyhound bus? Or was he just boozing it up at a party?

And, yeah, it is a nice bowl, isn't it? I mentioned the same thing to the Mysterious Mister Slinger, and he was so pleased that he gave it to me! How's that for generosity? I have it set out in the living room, now.

april said...


in an effort to maintain his mystery, i'm afraid i cannot say.

heroic, generous, AND great taste in home decor? what a guy, that mr. slinger...

Pulpatooner said...

Truly, a hero for us all.

f is for Fer; he failed to floss said...

Sling-tastic! Sling-licious! Sling-rific! Please do continue.

One question, though: when Mr Slinger fought (and presumably defeated; perhaps I've just spoiled the Mr Slinger Summer Special #1 with the foil cover) his evil clone, did the clone have a full goatee or just an overgrown "soul patch"? Both are evil signifiers, but there's a generational subtlety in the perception.

Pulpatooner said...

Excellent question. It was a surprisingly bushy moustache with waxed tips.

f is for Fer; he failed to floss said...

Waxed tips, you say? The cheek. I can see him now, twisting the ends of his sinister moustache between his gloved fingertips, taunting Mr Slinger across the dimensional void. "What's my name? Call me... Regnils. Sir Regnils to you, lout."

Drat that arch-villain, drat him straight to heck.

Pulpatooner said...

You seem to know an awful lot about Sir Regnils—a suspicious amount. I never mentioned that he wore gloves, or had an obsessive compulsion to end every sentence with the words "you lout." For that matter, I never even mentioned his name!

If you weren't clean-shaven, you'd have some very hard questions to answer right about now.

knock on wood said...

next time you come to nyc you must visit the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co!

Tis an amazing place full of superhero and villain supplies! (canned energy, fire slugs, civilian secret identity costumes in boxes etc all with great generic labeling systems so as to "blend in with society"..) All the proceeds go to a GREAT cause- not only is a great store, it is the facade for 826 NYC, an afterschool writing program for kids :) created by McSweeney's... all hidden behind a secret door inside.. so badass!

I recently worked with 2 classmates creating a superhero workbook for a group of kids in the program. it was so fun!

Pulpatooner said...


Wow, that is worth a trip to NYC all by itself. Things like that make me love to world we live in.

Is there any way a fan can see the workbook you made?

knock on wood said...

sure thing- I've been meaning to post about it in my blog. Classmate, Jerry Braccia, did most of the illustrating as he worked on superhero venues for years before this project. I did a lot of art directing (suggestions with characters) and designing layout :)

Pulpatooner said...


Paige's blog is for those who'dlike to keep an eye out for this post.